Summer romance?

Carole King: I Didn't Have Any Summer Romance

They're always writing songs, about a summer love that doesn't seem to last beyond the fall.
but i've a different reason for crying this season, the reason that can hurt you most of all.

i didn't have any summer romance.
nobody bothered to break my heart in two.
while others were fooled by the sweet words someone vowed
i was the one who made company a crowd.

i didn't walk down the beach in a trance
or listen to little white lies that sounded true
and no one could be as blue as i was in the fall
'cause i didn't have any summer romance at all

the war with the room has currenlty been surrendered, all my crap now just lays about the house. it's times like these i'm greatful my parents aren't neat freaks becasue my stuff has basically taken over a hallway for a week and no complaints so far.

other summaries recently:

1) i layed out in the sun yesterday reading a copy of Modern Bride from approximately 4 years ago: still found it entertaining

2) read an article in the New York Times which basically attributed the recent upsurge in marathon participation to Oprah: seriously, is there anything that woman can't do?

3) this town is ooc

4) my brother returned home today, without any of his stuff: it's still all in his apartment apparently. But over the course of about 5 hours i have already witnessed the slow progression into out of control boredom which, to be fair, took me at least several days, he has no stamina.. really quite sad. But it's still sad to witness it in others. I've informed him that the best strategy is to just go mildly insane and develop a new tick: mine is singing along with music outloud that no one else can hear: Stella doesn't mind- but my dad gives me disapproving looks occasionally.

5) Stella has this stuffed pikachoo and she chases it about, but has no concept of "fetch" this can entertain me for good 20 minute periods

6) no woman no cry may be extremely cheesy, but i like it and will continue to listen to it.

I am in the midst of intense civil war with the possesions filling my room.. well more like a cold war really. I keep giving it all looks and warnings that it could be thrown out any moment if it makes a false move, but i haven't actually launched any serious afronts yet. There are just too many books, stuffed animals, clothes and general unneccesary debauchery protruding from each corner which i keep attempting to shove into a new box, only to find it rearing its ugly head a few moments later. I suppose the things are not the real problem.. the real problem is my lack of willingness to part with said things. examples:

top drawer of dresser.. a strange destination for random sentimental objects: a bah mitzvah cap to a bah mitzvah i never attended but it's leahs.. can't really just throw that away right??, a cut out of the wedding dress i intend to have, a certificate from some athletic camp, some strange sock/slippers from turkmenistan, earplugs, a softball medal, squirt gun from atwater assasins etc. Yes i could empty the entire thing into the trash: and i remind the drawer of this everytime i shove some other sentimental object into its depths.. but so far it is clearly winning the battle. I mean if i can't even get rid of the earplugs there's no way the softball medal is going anywhere anytime soon.

my closet: stacks of old work - i just recently spent several hours rereading essays for senior year classes. I discovered that i've used the word "out of control" before in complete seriousness. i don't think i could use that phrase in a serious manner anymore. I also realized i used to know a lot more about history: conflicts in Northern Ireland as an example.. wrote a 10 page paper on it at one point apparently.. now: ???? clueless basically. If i threw away the paper there would be no evidence that i ever had a clue; then where would i be??

basket on floor: filled with random stuff my field hockey secret buddy gave me in years past and other objects i've always felt would be good regifting items: somehow i don't think the rose that sings "you are my sunshine" out of tune is ever going to have a purpose- but throw it in the trash?? when there are starving orphans in somalia?? never!

I'm fairly aware this post has no point, but my life currently sort of has no point so i think we're even. I'm sort of weirded out by the whole gettin 8 hours of sleep, eating regularly and lack of any sort of drama. It's been a bit too long since i've just had time to sit about and figure out what i wanted to do.. with the next 5 minutes, the next day, the rest of my life etc. basically haven't come to any conclusions yet. Mostly i just listen to a lot of music in an attempt to quiet the millions of voices in my head who are currently fighting for attention. I can't really hear what any of them are saying and it sort of just gives me a headache so i think i'll let them sort it out on their own before i listen in.

I'm not sure what happened the past 5 months since j-term began but it was sort of alarming or ooc or whatever you would term it if you actually wanted to convey those terms seriously. basically too little sleep, too much work, too much of me being frightened out of my mind that it wouldn't get done, i was failing at life and i was about to go off to a foreign country for a year to just fail at life there. But somehow it managed to be fun and i think the semester payed off somehow.. still trying to sort out how.

Chez moi

the lack of the french language to have a good word for the sense of home brings on the first anxiety of me having dedicated my college career to this silly language- i mean if you have to constantly be differentiating whose "home" it is and can never just say "home" i don't think they have much of a chance as a country: this revelation may explain many of their failures.

I'm getting towards the end of Jane Eyre- it's becoming more and more depressing as i read: you were right susanna i definitly had not reached the denoument but i think the book would have seemed much more cheery if i had just stopped there. the lunatic/crazed wife locked up in the attic not really doing much for me now. hopefully there will be a point to it all in the end.. or at least a cheery message that many books now try to get away with "life has no point" so we shall see.

Since being home i have been told by at least 4 persons that "Shrek 3 is playing in town!" this is supposed to be exciting because Shrek 3 just came out- thereby making this a first run movie- and the town of bellows falls never has first run movies: we basically always see them about the time they are released to airlines and such. That and the fact that someone managed to back there truck into the Dari joy window (but don't worry, it's still open!) are apparently the hot news items of the month.

In finality i read for better or for worse when i got home on wednesday and the punch line was "opposites attract" which i remember Kurt saying that he wrote about for his psychology final as being one of those common misnomers that show how psychology isn't actually intuitive. so basically i thought this was a sure sign that not only was for better or for worse no longer insightful or witty- it's now just wrong as well

JL;DSAKVJNO;IJAEWRFIOC;SJKJ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Things I know

Things i know (a short list, but sadly fairly all-encompassing)

1. a GPCR can activate an alpha subunit of a G-protein which can activate adenyly cyclase which makes cAMP which activates protein kinase A which can deactivate glycogen synthase or activate another kinase which can activate glycogen kinase or can, via importins, activate CREB which binds to CRE which is a TF.

2. An RTK (receptor tyrosine kinase) can recruit an IRS which recruits a GRb2 which has an SH2 domain and SH3 domains which recruit SOS or other GEFs which can than activate Ras which activates Raf which is a MAP kinase-kinase-kinase which phosphorylates a MAP kinase-kinase which phosphorylates a MAP kinase

3. the above statements were only made in an attempt to impress others with my superior knowledge, but in the end truly only demonstrate the fact that i can memorize three letter words, which actually i'm pretty sure most people mastered in kindergarden with the advent of vocabulary such as "cat" and "the cow goes MOO"

4. I will be back in westminster for good late next wednesday, and sort of this coming sunday

5. Writing this is not helping me study my french.. unless i begin incorporating key phrases comme si je dit que cette blog -est sur/traite de/ a propos de/ au sujet de les choses que je sait.

dans quel but? pour me distraire. comment se fait-il qu je sois assez brillante- c'est que j'ai etudie

classes are finished

I seem to remember this being a very exstatic blog entry last year: i'm not sure i can match the enthusiasm of being done with freshman classes, so i won't try, but woo hoo! - how's that??

I went to some theses presentations for chemistry and biochemistry today and it made me realize that i sort of wish i could do that senior year.. it seems really hard and the actual process seems toilsome, but there was something really amazing about how tight knit the group of seniors were and how sweet all the professors were when they presented the students with their awards. I think expecially the guys just dressed up and their parents coming to watch all seemed really nice: like having something that you've done all on your own and can be like "ta-da!". I'm not sure if i really want to do it in chemistry or biochemistry because it seems to involve alot of what i've been doing in labs for the past year which is a lot of mixing things and pipetting.. but at the same time right now that's all i feel like i'm really good at. I guess a year in France might make me feel more linked to my French major: but at the same time i really can't see it having the same feel.

I should really be reading my biology textbook right now.. but i've just been reading the same chapter about.. what was it about.. oh God this can't be good- the nucleus.. ok it was definitly about the nucleus and nuclear transport or something. Organelles turned out to be alot more interesting than i thought. I think if there was any fairly feasible way of being a biology or biochem major still i might try it, but i couldn't go to France for the year and i think ultimatley i could always decide to go back and do more bio if i don't go to med school and don't feel like continuing on my french path. (mom: i'm sort of starting to understand why it took you so long to finish undergrad)

ok.. i'll do work.

I finally remembered my password

I'M GOING TO PARIS

I just got my study abroad acceptance letter in the mail today- the biting wind i experienced on the way back from the mail center could not muffle my enthusiasm!!!!!!!! wooot!

To the thawing wind

To the Thawing Wind

Come with rain. O loud Southwester!
Bring the singer, bring the nester;
Give the buried flower a dream;
make the settled snowbank steam;
Find the brown beneath the white;
But whate'er you do tonight,
bath my window, make it flow,
Melt it as the ice will go;
Melt the glass and leave the sticks
Like a hermit's crucifix;
Burst into my narrow stall;
Swing the picture on the wall;
Run the rattling pages o'er;
Scatter poems on the floor;
Turn the poet out of door.

~Robert Frost

I found the poem appropriate as i begin my spring semester tomarrow morn. I wish i could say i return from febuary break relaxed and refreshed, but alas the truth is closer to windburnt and recovering from a fairly severe stomach flu- but beside the weather and my health my adventures to the big city were quite enjoyable. Next up: Organic chemistry II, Cellular and Molecular biology, improving your writing in french, and introduction to contemperary france. must go fold some laundry though- hope everyone is well :)

Well, i'm home for vacation in case anyone didn't know that already, or couldn't tell by my actually posting a blog. I watched the new james bond today- it's actually really good. i mean i sort of like the older ones and some of the fight scenes weren't really all they could be, but overall i thought the new james bond was pretty hot so that sort of made up for it. it also wasn't quite as witty as the older ones especially those with sean connery (yes i consider him witty katie) i don't actually think that's how you spell witty either.. owell i'm out of school i get to fail english. anyways there's really not much to do in this town. it's all spruced up for the holidays which is nice, bf seems to get less scummy each time i return.

So it turns out life is much saner without crew. I've finally found time to declare, French Major it is. and i've spent the last week making up for two months of sleep deprivation, so that was enjoyable. The fine picture that you are viewing is my friend flora and i while she waits in line for the porta potties at the head of the charles. What's amazing about this picture is the guy yawning, seriously, hi-larious.

There is apparently a tribal drumming group that meets regularly each thursday night for several hours in the parking lot outside my dorm. i say apparently because they've been constantly drumming for an hour now and my window is shut but i can soooo hear them. This has apparently been going on since school began but in my infinite inability to observe my surroundings i have not noticed until tonight. Flora and i have commiserated on this as we are both trying to get some reading done before bedtime which is fast approaching. i must go and enjoy my drumming as i read about chemical equilibriums and ther equilibrium constants. fare thee well.

boo. that's waht i feel like should be said when sneekily posting for the first time after 4 months. every time i think of posting i just think i have too much stuff to write and not enough time to make it entertaining enough to read so i won't attempt to sum up my last 3 weeks of school or anything. My own resolution to write more i think has been slightly successful, though that means i've sent approximatley 2 letters. But honestly i will get a letter to everyone whose address i have before thanksgiving, hopefully.

For those who don't know i went home last weekend and therefore had a nice 4 hours in the car this weekend- all spent during wee hours of different mornings. This time has allowed me to have many revelations- none of which will probably come to everything, but i feel i must share because then it makes the little dreams just a little more concrete. The most significant of the revelations was the idea to become a childrens book writer. I havn't decided the strategy for the illustrations yet but i think i could develop quite the unique style- i can do quite a number with crayons anyways. One possible topic for the books would be great historical stories- told perhaps with animals, definitly at some point featuring a rabbit as abe lincoln. Why? you say. why not! children like bunnies.. and old presidents. it's perfect as well as educational and would allow me to research random stories that perhaps arn't always told.



in other not totally unrelated news middlebury college held a debate amongst vermont candidates for the u.s. house of reps last night which was quite interesting as well as entertaining. The following link has a video coverage of the evening's events, and well they make it sound lame you still get to see shots of mead chapel which is exciting and of my favorite candidate- dennis Morrisseau, i can not explain to you the amazingness of this guy. i'm probably not going to vote for him since i'm not sure how into the "impeach bush now" party i am, but he was quite cunning and eloquent. Coverage of VCFA House Debate

I must run to a crew meeting. fair thee well.

3 down 1 to go

so finals for the most part are winding down and i havn't lost any limbs so i guess they went ok. My friend susanna left yesterday, she was the first to go, and my roomate left today.. tear. IN commemoration of finals we watched StarWars episode II on satuday night and episode III last night :) :) here's the funniest hting i've seen at least in the past week, and the second funniest thing i've seen. and btw i actually see some sun and blue skies outside, miracle.

Last class!!

i know this isn't nearly as exciting to all of you who are already headed home, and really was very anticlimatic to me as well but i figured it will only happen three more times so i should be pretty excited about it. My last class finished 2 hours ago and i'm free!!!! until tomarrow at least when i chain myself to a table in the library, but free!!!!! Anyways i conversed with my mother and it appears i should arrive home saturday night. My last final is from 2-5 and then we have to pack everything into ye old car and head off into the sunset: expected time of arrival.... hopefully before 9pm. I still can't believe you're all going home now!! i'm trying to make up for lack of enthusiasm about my last class by using lots of exclamation marks!! ok, enough of that.

cheers

I promised myself i would drag my butt to the library and actually accomplish something today so i decided i should get all internet behoovery (i don't actually think that's a word and if it is i don't actually know what it means) out of my system first. I'm basically done with all serious work so the next two days are just finishing up busy work and trying to remain somewhat focused so i won't be a total loon when i start studying for finals. I finally had a positive library experience, i sat at one of the tables facing huge windows and such instead of a study carol which i've done in the past. study carol's eat your soul, tables however made me very productive. I finished my greek lit paper in 3-4 hours on monday night, so i plan to return again today to find equal inspiration to finish up some french, calc, chem and greek for tomarrow and then.. well i don't know what. I pretty much don't have much to do other than study for some finals... i keep thinking that it's thursday because after finishing up my greek paper i don't feel any pressing need to do any other work.
I plan to arrive the 21st at home now that one of my finals was moved earlier.

and this is an old fave which makes me happy

oh trampolines, what fun

So i was just going to read everyone else's blogs and then go try to do some work on this greek paper but reading everyone else's blog has brought me to a stunning revelation, you all suck. I mean everyone basically gets done next friday and i will basically be here for another entire week. not only that but i just finished crew yesterday with our last regatta at New England Rowing Championships and i'm now in post season blah along with realizing the end of the year is coming and now reading everyone else's comments which are about a week ahead of my mindset has made me realize that the school year really is almost over, but it's also not because i still have work to do and 4 finals to study for and i can no longer use crew as an excuse not to do work:(. Oh and i just checked my email and Leah's message almost made me cry because the summer sounds so wonderful but seems so far away.

In other news, well actually pretty much the same news, my last final looks to be on the 20th so.. yeah. and i need to go do work. oh and about the major thing... i still don't really know but i might try neuroscience, it looks fun. I have to decide by the end of next semester, though you're alowed to change after that. and to ashley's comment yes i did mean life is beautiful.

a sketchy picture of me looking contemplative/stupid.

We watched "johnny toothpick"(it has an italian name but i don't remember it) in greek and roman comedy today. It had the main actor fromj it's a beautiful life so therefore it had to be decent, and was, tought not as good of course. I've managed to continue being extremely undecisive about what i want to major in/do for the rest of my life and have decided to narrow it down to just what do i want to major in and still have failed horribly. We have to register for fall classes next thursday and though i already know 3 of the classes i'm taking i feel the 4th should most likely have some connection to this so called major i will have and therefore much pressure is felt in trying to choose the class.

room draw was a few weeks ago. I have a really nice single in Coffrin, a predominantly sophmore building right across from my presant dorm. I guess i'm excited about having my own room especially since my roomate is living next door to me and has promised we can still have spontaneous dance parties.

(the picture has no connection to anything i just think it's funny it's from the hike i went on with my dad last summer and he's standing in a fire tower you can sort of see trees i fyou look through the fog)

After reading comments and actually looking at my blog i realised i hadn't posted since before spring break which is an insanely long time. I won't dull you all by mentioning every exploit of the Georgia trip to inane detail but a general summary might be useful

The trip set off to a great start with us meeting to get on the bus at 2:30am (that's like when most people go to bed) and a 6am flight out of burlington. the planes were so small if i stood up tall my head hit the roof, but all went well. sunday morning 6:30 am was the first practice and the cycle of 6:30 am practice, breakfast 11am practice, lunch 3pm practice dinner, meeting and sleep began. It was fun staying on the houseboats which lulled one to sleep with gentle swaying. much happened all week, mostly rowing but also good times of which i'm sure i will tell too many stories later on so i won't ruin my chances now. Saturday (the next saturday) was our regatta at the '96 olympic course on lake lanier (i have a cool t-shirt you'll have to see sometime). I was racing in a 4 and a 8 (that's how many people/size of boat) we made it to finals in our 4 and got second place which is why we have the metals in that picture.

Yesterday as i believe i mentioned in previous post was first am practice on dunmore; waking up at 4:15. practice was fine but i managed to fall asleep approximately 5 times during calc and then fell asleep in greek and roman comedy; droping my book and writing some pretty amusing notes that i can't actually interepret. today was better because i went to bed a little earlier last night and then had coffee. Our first official race of the season is tomarrow in worchester and the bus leaves this afternoon at 4 so i must be off soon. we're staying at someones house so i'm excited. :)

eww.. it's raining that's sort of icky